Out in Time Read online

  Heath leaned toward Wade, but before his lips could reach the other man’s, Wade pushed against Heath’s hips, and before he could blink, they were sliding apart and sitting up on the edge of the bed. Heath stared at his toes, and from the corner of his eye, he could see Wade staring at the wall.

  Heath’s shirt and pants were scrunched up, so he pulled at his clothing and dug around in his mind for the right to say to diffuse the awkwardness. God, he didn’t have a clue. So, in his clueless brilliance, he quipped, “So, how’d it measure up to kissing girls?”

  “I couldn’t tell ya,” Wade said quietly, shoving a hand in his hair and laughing lightly.

  “What do you mean?”

  Wade pulled a leg up on the bed and shifted his body to once again face Heath. Heath turned his head toward him, glad to see that Wade wasn’t going to avoid him all night. Nor for the rest of their lives, he hoped. He rested his chin on his shoulder and tried for a smile.

  Wade scrubbed a hand over his face before smiling grimly. “I need to tell you something, but I’m nervous. I don’t want you to hate me for not telling you sooner.”

  “I could never hate you, Wade. You’re too good. Too good of a person.”

  Wade nodded and sucked his bottom lip in his mouth for a second before pushing out a ragged breath. Then, he spoke and Heath’s world screeched to a halt and then spun in the opposite direction. “I’ve never kissed a girl because I’m gay. Though, for the record, I’ve never kissed a guy either.”

  “Wh—what?” Heath stammered, kicking himself for being so ineloquent. But seriously, what?

  Wade kept eye contact, but his eyes got soft, unfocused. “Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’ve wanted to tell you several times, but I’ve only trusted one other person with that information, so it was hard for me. But being with you today, getting to know you better, seeing I had some seriously good reasons to have my crush on you … I just knew. Knew I could tell you. Knew I could trust you. I didn’t plan on using a kiss as a conversation starter, though.” His eyes got sharper, and they lingered over Heath’s every feature before focusing on his lips. Heath couldn’t have felt it any more than if Wade had actually reached out and ran his hand over him.

  “I’m sorry I took advantage of you. That wasn’t my intention. But, I’ve just been wanting you for so long, Heath, and I could feel every bit of you. I could see everything I’ve ever wanted—that look in your eye directed at me, your breath on my chest. All of it right there for me to grab and make mine. I shouldn’t have—”

  Wade couldn’t get another word out because Heath was on him again in a flash. He probably shouldn’t have been. They probably should have talked more. Fuck. Wade was a closet case. But, damn, Heath was only human. Hearing that Wade wanted him—had been wanting him—the same way Heath had been wanting, set Heath’s blood on fire.

  This go around, Heath was in charge. He moved his lips over Wade’s hungrily, desperately. Wade’s hands came up to grasp almost painfully at Heath’s biceps while Heath threaded his arms around Wade’s neck tightly. Wade had never kissed anyone? What did that even mean? Was he one of those fucked-up guys that hooked up with random guys only, and he refused to kiss based on principle? Why was Heath different? They’d started with the kissing, so it wasn’t like they were lost in the moment, and Wade couldn’t help himself.

  A violent thought shook him to the core when he theorized what all this could mean. He didn’t want to think about Wade not only being a closeted gay man but also a closeted slut. Maybe it was the fact that he was Wade’s first kiss—Heath didn’t know for sure—but he suddenly felt very territorial over this man. That would get him nowhere fast though. He needed to focus on this moment, this night, not the past and definitely not the future.

  If all he had was this one night with Wade, he was going to make it count, make it something Wade would never forget. No matter how much it broke Heath’s heart. Since he’d attacked Wade out of nowhere, their noses were smashed together as were their mouths, and Heath needed to taste Wade yesterday. So, he angled his head to the right and moved back a space to run his tongue along the seam of Wade’s lips. Wade made another one of those intoxicating moans deep in his throat. And Heath wanted nothing more than to unhinge this man. Make him wild with desire and passion.

  Heath licked and sucked at Wade’s lips until Wade finally relented and let him in. Oh, Jesus. He tasted incredible. They moved together frenetically—all tongue and teeth and lips. He didn’t know how long they kissed—felt like forever, felt like a blip in time. Their tongues slipped and slid against one another, and they edged closer and closer until Heath was practically sitting in Wade’s lap. It still wasn’t close enough.

  Wade must have had the same thought because Heath felt him tugging at his shirt. His fists were bunched in the material, and then it was moving over his stomach and his ribs. Wade broke the kiss, gasping, “Skin. I need to feel your skin. ‘K?”

  “Yeah,” Heath breathed and raised his arms straight up. Off went the shirt and in came Wade. One of Wade’s powerful arms locked around his waist, and before Heath could blink, he was being lifted and moved toward the center of the bed.

  Heath spread his legs to cushion Wade as he came down on top of him, but Wade held himself slightly above Heath on his elbows. His bright blue eyes were shining again. Heath had never seen him look so happy. One of Wade’s hands came up to run down Heath’s chest. Wade followed the movement with scorching eyes that felt like they left Heath’s overheated skin flayed open for him to see it all. “I love your skin. I always wondered how soft it would be.” His fingertips danced across his stomach. “How warm it would be. Feels so good, Heath.” He glanced back up to meet Heath’s eyes. “You feel so good.”

  Mmm … those heady words shot straight to Heath’s dick. He had to make a conscious effort not to thrust himself against Wade. Heath let out a shaky breath as Wade’s hand flattened on his belly and Wade’s lips moved to his collarbone. He kissed his way across his flesh, leaving a tingling sensation in his wake. Heath finally let his hands explore, running across the wide expanse of Wade’s muscled back. Wade was hot—literally—and figuratively, of course. Heath couldn’t believe he was the one to affect Wade this way. God, if he was dreaming, he never wanted to wake up. Wade’s lips meandered up the column of Heath’s neck while Heath’s hands wandered down to rub the soft skin of Wade’s lower back. When Wade hit his sweet spot just below his ear, Heath couldn’t help clutching Wade’s hips and grinding his dick hard against the other man’s. So far they’d managed to ignore the fact that they were both hard beyond belief, focusing instead on the incredible kisses. Now, Heath couldn’t get close enough. Wade continued his assault on Heath’s neck, grunting his approval of the direction Heath had taken below.

  So, Heath swiveled his hips, bumping and grinding against Wade with every upward turn. Wade broke away and pulled back after a few minutes. His eyes were squeezed tightly in consternation. “Mmm … Heath, we need to stop for a minute.”

  “Why?” he questioned innocently, taunting him with another buck of his hips.

  “’Cause I don’t wanna … um …”

  “What, Wade? Come in your pants?”

  His eyes flew open, pinning Heath once again with the heat and yearning he saw there. “Yeah, I don’t wanna do that.”

  “Me either. I have much more interesting ways to make that happen.”

  “Oh, God,” Wade groaned.

  “You okay, big guy?”

  “Yeah … no. I don’t know.”

  Heath took mercy on Wade and stilled his hips. He skimmed his hands up Wade’s back until he cupped one around his nape and the other around his shoulder. Wade gave him a tremulous smile as Heath brought his lips back down against his own. Heath may have conceded on the grinding, but he couldn’t not do anything with his lower half. Hell, the majority of his blood supply now resided there. So, he was careful not to rub their dicks together when he brought his legs up to wrap around W
ade’s waist, and he didn’t let that keep him from tightening his thighs around Wade’s hips.

  Wade placed sweet, chaste kisses on the corners of his mouth. Then the center. His nose. His forehead. His slightly calloused thumbs grazed his cheekbones. He was slowing them down, and as much as Heath wanted everything Wade had to offer him, he didn’t mind in the least.

  “I feel like a starving man who’s just been granted free reign over his favorite buffet,” Wade breathed. “I wanna touch.” He ran his fingertip over Heath’s bottom lip. “And taste.” He licked the seam of Heath’s lips. “And devour.” He pushed his tongue inside Heath’s mouth and fucked him with it. And all Heath could do was hold on and enjoy the ride.

  ***

  Wade was about to go out of his mind. He wasn’t underplaying it—he wanted all of Heath, but he didn’t know where to begin. A make-out session with some hot humping seemed like a good start, but he didn’t know how to transition to anything more involved than that. So, he figured it would probably be best if he let Heath take the lead. Wade gentled the assault he was laying on Heath’s hypnotic mouth and pulled back a little.

  Heath’s eyes had taken on a decidedly lusty look, one that Wade himself had put there. He loved it. He grinned at Heath. Sinking to his forearms, Wade shoved his hands under Heath’s back and flipped them over so that Heath was on top.

  “Fuck. Why is such a turn-on that you can flip me and maneuver me with little to no effort? I love it,” he proclaimed. Heath sat back on his haunches as he ran his hands over Wade’s chest. Wade bucked with pleasure as he rubbed and then tweaked his nipples, a low groan escaping his lips. “Mmm … and you’re so sensitive. Love that too.” Heath bent over him and soothed the ache he’d created with his tongue. Wade pushed up with his hips again, and even through the two layers of clothes, he could feel Heath’s tight ass with the tip of his cock. Wade groaned even louder now.

  Heath sat back up and ran a hand over his hair. “If I’m you’re first kiss, I think we should probably discuss what you do want to do or even what you do not want to do, Wade. I don’t want all the details of your past experiences. Matter of fact, it’s probably best that you don’t give me all the details.” His permanent grin turned abashed. “I think I may have a bit of territorial thing going on with you.”

  Even though Wade could quickly set Heath’s mind at ease on that front, he couldn’t resist teasing the other man when he saw the dash of fury in his eyes. “Territorial, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Heath breathed. “Just thinking about you with other guys makes me crazy.” He shook his head again. “I don’t get it. I’ve never been the jealous type, but when you said you’ve never been kissed, that made me go nearly insane with the thought of being your first.”

  He had his own mini-meltdown the first time he’d met Heath’s ex-boyfriend, so he understood that feeling all too well. “There are no details to give, Heath. You don’t need to worry about that.”

  His brow furrowed as his mind searched for understanding. “No details? As in …”

  “Anything you do to me, Heath—anything we do—will be my first everything.”

  Heath stared him for a long moment, and Wade found himself hoping that his inexperience wasn’t a turn-off. He feared the worst, though, when Heath slipped off of him and threw himself on his back next to him. His heart froze at the thought of being rejected because he hadn’t fooled around with anyone before now. Would it be better if Heath thought he was a player? Maybe Heath didn’t want to invest any time in teaching Wade the ropes.

  He felt Heath turn on his side next to him, so Wade mirrored the move. They only lay a couple of inches apart, but it felt like his confession had divided them by a gaping chasm, until finally Heath ran his hand down Wade’s arm. When he reached his hand, Heath linked his fingertips with Wade’s. He leaned in a pressed a light kiss to his mouth. Okay, maybe he wasn’t completely scared off.

  “Why now, Wade? I don’t mean to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but were you, like, saving yourself or something?”

  “No,” Wade laughed. “Not that at all. I just … I don’t know how to explain it.”

  “Let’s start with when you figured out you were gay.”

  “‘K. Well, I knew when I was thirteen. All my friends were losing their minds over breasts and other parts of the female anatomy. But I noticed that … other things did it for me.” Wade could feel himself blushing, but he pushed on. “Anyway, my first inspired hard-on was brought on my brother’s best friend. I was fourteen then.”

  “Oh, how risqué,” Heath laughed.

  “No kidding. He was staying over one night, and we always ended up horsing around. Curt’s friends loved to come over and play football with me. Anyway, we’d been playing on and off all day, and no one had brought me down yet. So, later that night when Eric did, he gloated by holding me down and messing around with me. I think he even gave me a noogie. Totally shouldn’t have turned me on, but it did. Like, a lot. I made up some excuse shortly thereafter and, uh, went inside.”

  “Wade—” Heath hesitated “—what’s your middle name?”

  “Alexander.”

  “Wade Alexander Truman!” Heath chastised, much like his mother would. “Did you polish the rocket thinking about your brother’s bestie?”

  “I tried not to,” Wade protested. “I took deep breaths. Flipped on the TV. Did some push-ups. I even started cleaning my bathroom. But, I could not stop thinking about him. Then, I just started aching, you know?” Heath bobbed his head and up down. “I mean, my whole body was vibrating, and my mind was consumed. I thought if I didn’t come right then I was gonna die. So … yeah, I ‘polished the rocket’ thinking about Eric Foster in all his divine, male beauty holdin’ me down and rubbin’ up against me.”

  “Aww … poor, teenage Wade,” Heath chuckled. “So what happened with the best friend?”

  “Oh, God. Nothing. I still don’t know anyone in my town who is gay, or well, openly gay. But I don’t think that would have mattered anyway. I wasn’t like other kids in a lot of ways.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I was, well, am completely obsessed with my goals. I wouldn’t have dated even if I’d been straight. Two things mattered to me—school and football.”

  “So, you never had a beard or tried dating a girl?”

  Wade chuckled lightly. “Nope. Just told people I was too busy doing my own thing to get into a relationship. People left me alone for the most part. It was my granny who challenged me.”

  “How so?”

  “She and I are close. Real close. I’d love for you meet her, matter of fact. I promise she’s one of a kind. Anyway, I was working over at her house one afternoon. She pulled a stool next to the porch where I was replacing boards. It was the summer I’d turned seventeen.” Wade took a deep breath when he thought about how wonderful his granny was and how he didn’t know what he would do without her and how he never wanted to find that out, even though it was inevitable.

  Heath’s fingertips squeezed against his, and Wade mentally shook off his morbid thoughts. “So, she pulls this stool up and plops down on it, eyeing me with this intensity that could make your liver shrivel. She had her dusty, worn cowgirl boots pulled on over her blue jeans. A flannel shirt tucked into those and this hot pink bandana tied holding her salt and pepper off of her face. Instantly, I stopped working. My granny’s given me a lot of looks over the years, but I knew this one meant business. It scared me to death. I thought somebody died or something.

  “I dropped my hammer and moved to sit on the edge of the porch next to her. ‘Son,’ she said, slapping my leg. ‘You know I love you. Love ya more than my damned old Winston’s,’ she added as she fired one of those very things up. ‘But Imma ‘fraid people are gonna start talkin’, and I just want you to be prepared.’ I had a feeling what she was gonna say because my parents had started in too, but I asked anyway, ‘Talking about what?’” She blew a long stream of smoke over our heads before shoot
ing me a glance. ‘Don’t mess around with me, boy. I ain’t got that kinda time. I could drop dead any second. You know what.’”

  Heath’s eyes were lit up, like Wade’s tale was utterly fascinating. His granny had that effect on people. “What did you say?” he encouraged, tugging on Wade’s fingers like a little kid.

  Wade closed his eyes and shook his head at the memory. He opened them back up and peered at Heath. He seemed so open now and trusting and he could really love this man. The errant thought caused his breath to halt, and he had to fight hard to speak around the lump in his throat. “I said, ‘Yes, ma’am. I know what.’”

  “Well, you gonna say it. Or you too chickenshit?”

  Heath cracked up at that, and Wade couldn’t resist grinning at the memory.

  “I didn’t even consider lying or trying to cover. I simply said, ‘I’m gay, Granny.’”

  “That’s it?” Heath thundered when Wade stopped.

  “Well, no. There was more. She told me I better not be ashamed of myself. I assured her I wasn’t. Then, she wanted to know when I planned on telling my parents. I told her I’d more or less convinced my folks I was asexual. I didn’t use that word, of course, but the concept was the same. She asked me what I was going to do about it. I told her nothing. I didn’t want a boyfriend, and even though I’d accepted it, I wasn’t ready to tell the world. All my parents ever talked about was when we’d grow up and get married and have kids and be happy. Not that I can’t have that as gay man,” he rushed to add. “But I knew it would put a dent in all their dreams and expectations. So, why rock the boat when I didn’t want anyone anyway?”

  “You can’t stay that way forever, Wade. You’ll be miserable.”

  “You’re right. Same thing my granny said. I told her I would know when the time was right.”